Yesterday I went to Peninsula Lighthouse to go get my assessment. It was pretty much the same as my first assessment, only they asked me a lot less questions and talked to my parents more. We walked out and my mom said the Peninsula lady said that we needed to either:
- Get me a Case Manager
- or do Family Therapy
The latter sounded like a completely horrible idea, which I attempted to communicate to my mother in a calm way, but such did not go as planned, and was most certainly a D- by the end of it.
So she takes me to school.
After school, I go to my therapist, Dr. Leese. Dr. Leese says I should go to Peninsula Lighthouse (the Outpatient program), where I would go daily and get my treatment, and I would be able to sleep in my own bed. She also recommended, in a Thank You God sort of way, to not do family therapy.
Mom wasn't pleased.
After Dr. Leese, we have to go back to Peninsula for a meeting with Dr. Greeson.
He, the asshole, tells my parents immediately that I told the woman who did my assessment that I was feeling suicidal, and, continuing to how much of an asshole he is, is all "So why do you want to do it?"
That's not a question you can answer on the spot, dickhead.
Anyways. The meeting progresses, and he says "Well, since you're in this crisis, should you go to the hospital?" Peninsula Hospital is about two hours away from here, it's a 155 bed place where I would be under 24 hour surveillance with no privellages whatsoever, no phones, no internet, no freedoms, and I will supposedly walk out of there, after a week max, "better".
I convince my parents to not take me there.
A two hour nap later at home, I wake up, and they've changed their minds.
First of all, dad now hates me. (He hates suicide, and if I am suicidal, he therefor hates me.) And so he was all ready to ship me off. My heart could have broken my ribs it was beating so hard. My mom convinces him to wait until tomorrow. Dad yells at me and spews bullshit in his rage. Three or four insults in I tune him out.
I go to bed at ten after a very tear filled conversation with Hannah (the_lady_lamb).
I wake up the next morning to him yelling at me to go to school. He tells me that I'm going to class, and that he'll come get me when it's time to go to Peninsula. I get dressed sadly, and go to the bus stop. I wait. (I expect him to drive up and say we were going now any second.)
The entire day at school I'm nauseated. Every time the phone would ring in class I'd have a mini-heart attack.
And then finally, it was for me.
I come down to the west mall where he is waiting, and to my surprise, he hugs me. We get in the car, and he says:
"Well, I've got some good news on your end. Mom went to see a counselor for about two hours today, and she got some solid advice that we're just going to put our faith in. She said do NOT take you to Hospital, that would only hurt you, and that you were probably NOT lying about needing to go to Lighthouse, and that you were NOT lying to go to school, and that I needed to stop being angry at you immediately because it was breaking your heart. Is any of this bullshit to you?"
"-shakes head quickly-"
"Good. Let's go home."
Long story short?
THEY'RE NOT TAKING ME AWAY! ♥